The Adelphi Coracle

Newsletter 5
Sunday 3 April


In the Ocean of Night

National Media Nearly Right: Q magazine (the pop & rock one, nothing to do with Star Trek) has an item about GoH Neil Gaiman, a big fan of Tori Amos. The Sandman character Delirium is based (partly? allegedly?) on Tori. Illustrating the item was a nice picture of Death talking about Mary Poppins. 8/10. Thog say: lawyers very sad that it wasn't Despair.

Important! History Book -- The Thog Chapbook, in a signed numbered edition of 25, will soon be on sale in the Dealers' Room! Thog say what Thog say.

Important. Can Dave O'Niall please go to Ops or Registration a.s.a.p.? Thank you.

Last Minute News. The registration for KILLER is open till 2pm in the Games Room! Be there or ...

Competition. What is the longest/best sentence you can make where every word is an SF title? Best so far is 'It was she who ET them crabs Friday.' Submissions to the Newsletter.

3 April Birthdays. Washington Irving, 1783. Jesse James shot, 1882. Great French-Anglo-American horse, mule and donkey banquet, Paris, 1875.

Shut The Door! 'If you tell fans what to do,' moans John Harold, 'they all rush in droves to not do it. Last night we found at least twelve hotel room doors left ajar. Please beg them to STOP IT!'

Tarot Readings: If anyone wants a Tarot reading (for £2, proceeds to FoF), ask Phil Bradley -- the guy with a black hat and ribbons.

Great Egg Race meets Blue Peter: The Inconceivable Challenge was won by the ingenious Jomsborg team's floating missile launcher. Second place: The Wheel. Dishonourable mention to the R101, which went a negative distance. INCONCEIVABLE reminds everyone that the price goes up after Sou'Wester.

An ouncement. Gary and Li da Stratmann celebrate their first wedding an iversary today. (Thog wish he u derstood this joke.)

Desperately Seeking Sade: Inconceivable needs to borrow a cat o'nine tails (or whip) and some manacles/handcuffs. Yes, we are perverts, but there is a reason for this. Honest. (Thog bet there is) See us at the Hypothalamus desk or in a cold shower near you.

Thog's Appeal. If anyone has a copy of Bernard King's two 1989ish horror novels (Blood-Circle and, er, the other one) they'd be prepared to sell/lend, please contact Paul in the Newsroom. (See Masterclass.)

Sonic the Hedgehog Pyjamas! We're surprised, MP from Twickenham, that no one believes you when you say these were on sale when you were a teenager.

Captain's Log: Updates

Sunday. Once again ... 4pm and 9pm: Fanzine Panel (was 4pm) has been moved to 9pm, exchanging with the Writers' Panel: Beginnings (was 9pm).

7pm, Workshop 2: Elementary Sensuality REVISITED (by popular demand)!

Parents. Did you know Room 200 is available for children's parties, baby sitting and other child-related activities? It contains lots of TOYS! Key in Ops; if not, there is already someone there! Come and have fun!

WC Fields Forever? Confirmation: on Monday 4 April a party will make the perilous ascent of Brownlow Hill in search of the semi-legendary Philharmonic Dining Rooms, Hope Street. This pub is the proud possessor of 'the most ornate gentlemen's toilets in Great Britain' -- just ten minutes' walk from the heart of this convention. The expedition will be led by intrepid WINCON chairman Mr JFW 'Tenzing' Richards. Assemble in the Adelphi foyer at 12:00 hours. All welcome, especially ornate gentlemen.

Out of the Depths

Overheard. On seeing Kari in costume: 'I've seen women dressed as trampolines before.' • In dealers' room: 'There are people buying J*hn N*rm*n books at this convention!' • 'Only Leigh Montgomerie could walk in still wearing a Che Guevara T-shirt and expect to retain any credibility.' • 'Actually the Kentish Knock sounds quite a good description of a Paul Kincaid review.' • 2:55pm Sat: 'Neil Gaiman will have to wait. Trifle comes first!' • 'You have to mention Peter Weston's INCREDULOUS AMAZEMENT at the existence of a fan group (Preston) larger than Birmingham's.' • 'Clute was here only a moment ago. He just vanished like the Cheshire Cat, leaving a polysyllable slowly fading in the air ...'

Late Helicon News. Confirmed: Neil Mittenshaw-Hodge goes to bed with his wallyphone. He was heard next door telling it goodnight.

Volere Volare: the facts, the prices! Inquiries last night revealed no standard price for lying naked on a wooden slab while chocolate is poured over your body and decorated by a master chef. Avaricious Pam Wells charged £2000/hour/spectator. But Sou'Wester Commodore Marcus Streets said he got £25-30/hour for technical writing and couldn't see why this would be any different. But if Pam advertised 'Redhead willing to be covered in chocolate' and then delegated to Marcus, she could ...

Friends of Foundation. The party raffle made £44 thanks to sterling work by Geoff Ryman, the banner designed by Sue Mason and the gentle persuasion of Roger Robinson 'We have a problem -- you aren't drinking enough'. Further chances to put money into the coffers of the Science Fiction Foundation can be taken by identifying the mysterious writer photographed in idyllic circumstances some years ago -- see the photos displayed at the FoF table in the dealer's room. A selection of this mysterious person's books can be won. (That normally a sign it is Fanthorpe.)

Buzz. The daughter of a well known Liverpool sf writer visited Sou'Wester on Saturday. As a guest of Friends of Foundation, she did not find the con a Dreadful Sanctuary!

Artistic Licence. Dave Hardy rants: In TAC 2, 'Liverpool in SF' mentioned artist Josh Kirby. But not the famous Liverpool School of SF Art, founded by the prolific Eddie Jones (star of hundreds of German sf covers, including P*rry Rh*dan) and including George Jones, Blair Wilkins and Colin Langeveld. Sadly, all but one have long since gafiated, but Colin's work still graces our Art Show (last chance to bid: Sunday am), and he could be seen emulating a dervish at Saturday's hop....

Restaurants. 'I don't care what Howard Rosenblum says about Liverpool Chinatown,' pouted feisty Jenny Campbell, 'the Jung Wah restaurant is lots better than the one he called the best in Britain.' • Overheard in local Chinese restaurant: 'I'm not getting my tits anywhere near that Chilli Sauce'. TAC's contributor then says: 'Should be attributed to Gail Courtney but I'm not sure that's wise.' Trust us, contributor. • A tagliatelle fan writes: Good grief, there's vast expanses of stuff in the hotel basement (down the stairs between the lifts and lounge entrance), including a 'Pastaficio'-style mix'n'match pasta place. (No idea what it's like, but nice to see someone doing it.)

Movements in Time and Space Musicians and other parties interested in the 'War of the Worlds' project turned up at 6pm to find the scheduled item had been shifted to 5pm. Infuriated filkers, led by Pat Silver, were last seen in hot pursuit of Programme Organizer Rhodri James, muttering something about a dress rehearsal for Beltane. • Rhodri: 'Actually I can explain everyth -- aargh!'

Ni Kol-Tse writes: What bastard scum proofreader let calamari is [TAC 3, restaurant column] pass? He should consider the possibility that my gorgeous pouting slavette Ah-bi has relations in the Camorrae, and before he next takes the amber fluid out of his honourable betters, sort out the beam in his own oculum.

Overheard in Newsroom. 'I came here with a news item, only I've forgotten it ... but it was jolly funny at the time.' • 'I've been all through the back issues and you definitely haven't printed my bloody good thing about Mittenshaw-Hodge and the wally-phone. You sure it's been typed up on the computer only you're working on a different document? I want to be certain it hasn't been lost! I'll have another look at the ... What do you mean, the Thog Response?'

Herea hiTlashu (it say here) would like to thank Jonathan Beever, Darrin Morgan and Fiona Anderson for painting her and her friends. Everywhere.

Raise a Phlosque. Eira and SMS have inaugurated the PHLOSQUE AWARD. Nomination labels are plastered all over the Art Show. 'Phlosque' is defined as cute sf/fantasy art with significance. Now it has the official recognition it so rightly observes as an Art Movement central to the sf community. The Phlosque, to be presented at the Awards Ceremony (8pm TONIGHT), will reflect the good taste and intellectual integrity we have come to expect of phlosque itself.

Thud & Blunder. Nasty, brutish and short: Daffy Duck has been accused of the murder of First Tiger Hobbes. When questioned he said: 'Suffering Succotash!' • Nasty, brutish and incredibly important: Two groups investigating suspects in the Hobbes murder case have yet to report their findings! Communicate at once with Gary or Linda Stratmann or else. • LOUD HISSES IN NEWSROOM: Received from Ops -- 'Re: The untimely (A matter of opinion -- Thog) death of Hobbes. For those with long memories, Hissing SidTM would like it to be known he wasn't there, it wasn't him, he didn't do it, and it is long past time that his name should be cleared. He is hissed off with having his good character pillified and villoried in the stocks of common gossip.'

Comparative Theology: Who's the cute boy in the helmet on the right of the Jenny's Restaurant stairs? Best guess so far -- he's the god of late arrivals holding the head of the person who gave out the wrong time for the end of breakfast.

Good Head for Liquor. 1/2 r was so affected by the stair party that he spilt 1/2 r's Special Mead-Type LiquorTM on Chris Bell's black leather trousers. But all was not lost! Chivalrous John 'They Call Me Anonymous' English leapt forward and licked it up, to general rejoicing and the pealing of ...

Thog's Masterclass. 'She knew how to embroider and milk a cow.' -- Connie Willis, Doomsday Book • 'Elayne wished the woman would just revert to herself instead of bludgeoning her with a lady's maid from the Blight.' -- Robert Jordan, The Fires of Heaven • 'His lips formed the words, but it was his heart which spoke them.' -- Bernard King, Starkadder • 'He absorbed Latin in two hours yesterday! It took me a whole year just to learn the Latin alphabet.' -- Brett Leonard & Gimel Everett, screenplay for The Lawnmower Man

Great Shipping Disasters Issue. Titanic: Dave Langford. Lusitania: Paul Barnett. Mary Celeste: Abigail Frost. Torrey Canyon: Mike Abbott. Graf Spee: Kari. Wreck of the Deutschland: Jilly Reed. Totally Wrecked: Gamma, Peter Morwood. Morning Cloud: Peter Weston. Boy With Finger In Dyke: Jan van't Ent. The Conspiracy '87 Progress Report Airlift: Forbidden Planet. 'The Shipwrecked Hotel': The Adelphi.

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