The Adelphi Coracle

Newsletter 4
Saturday 2 April


Flying Colours

Anniversary! This weekend is the sixth anniversary of Davedom, founded in this very hotel at another Eastercon beginning on All Gammas' Day. The precepts of this faith remain inscrutable.

Important Warning. 20 Adelphi rooms are let to non-Sou'Wester members, and there has been some trouble, er, interfacing with them. All party organizers should contact John Harold or one of the other Marines now.

David Barrett Says You Can't Sit Here: Could people please bear in mind that the foyer of the hotel is a public area, not part of the convention; please put on the acceptable face of fandom! (This includes, please, NOT sitting on the floor in the reception area.)

Sonic the Hedgehog Pyjamas! No, AJF from Bethnal Green, we don't know where you can buy these -- but you're quite right: there should be a pair in the TAFF auction. (And, if you so much want to see Stephen Marley's Sonic the Hedgehog pyjamas, you should muster the courage to ask him yourself.)

Kollectors' Korner. Owing to unprecedented demand, Jan van't Ent has reprinted issue #2 of The Adelphi Coracle (the ichor-green one). Copies available from the Newsroom.

Local Groups List. We're still collecting info for the hoped special issue listing local sf groups all over the UK. A flood of 3 people have responded so far!

Lavatourism. John Richards is thinking -- just thinking -- of leading a small party around the World's Most Ornate Pub Toilets, just 10-15 mins walk away. Monday lunchtime, perhaps? Ask him nicely.

Fix! Fix! Unclaimed raffle prizes at the Foundation party (ticket number/membership number): 74/72; 139/502; 72/the person whose membership number Rob Meades lost; 125/555; 90/574; 190/712. Top prizewinner was Andy Butler (a pile of signed Gaiman books); cries of 'fix' rose as John Clute collected Asimov's Forward the Foundation and incredulous gasps as Colin Greenland happily pocketed a £5.00 Macdonald's voucher. If your number came up, go to the FoF stall and see if you were as lucky as them.

Captain's Log: Updates

6pm: Per Ardua e Slush Pile (moved from 8pm).

7pm: Talking About UK Worldcons (was 6pm).

9:30pm, Boardroom: Intersection party (not 9pm).

MegaPlug. Those who took Thog's advice and went to the Savourna Stevenson concert last night know our man doesn't recommend programme items lightly (extremely heavily, in fact). So take heed when he tells you his own reading (9pm tonight, Workshop 2 [Room 155]) will be EVEN BETTER.

Sunday • To remind you of Read Me changes.... • Writers' Circle moved from 11am to 9:30am! Har har!

4pm and 9pm: The Fanzine Panel (was 4pm) has been moved to 9pm, exchanging with the Writers' Panel: Beginnings (was 9pm). Also Fanzine Panel entry should continue 'Alasdair Hepburn, Jackie McRobert and Mike Siddall' (the names they dared not print!).

Church. Interested in 10.30am Easter Communion at the Anglican Cathedral? A party is leaving from the foyer, 10am. Look for Anne or Mike Whitaker.

Stranger Things Happen At Sea

Overheard. The strain begins to show ... one techie was overheard to refer to another as 'Dave Holodeck'. • In the dealers' room: 'Trouble is, it's just going to be full of sci-fi stuff.' • 'If there are other hands involved, I can take pleasure in it.' -- Neil Gaiman on collaboration. • Hugh Mascetti: 'I am going to kill John Dallman. I am going to kill him very slowly and in a highly organized manner....'

Win Dave Mooring! Well, nearly. The BSFA is offering a piece of original art by Dave Mooring to anyone who can complete a fiendishly simple word square. Entry forms (50p) are available on the BSFA desk in the Book Room. Take part in our infamous tombola, or enter the raffle for Life BSFA Membership (worth £150 -- so £1 for 5 entries seems pretty good value). As for the Mooring picture, opinion wavers between 'cor!' and 'but my wife wouldn't let me....'

Seven-Minute Novel Horror. Judges gibbered in dread on encountering the final, indescribable word of Stephen Marley's contribution. 'His handwriting,' groaned P.Barnett, 'is the exact literary analogue of the Marley Mumble.' Close analysis of the mystery word suggested it might be 'ummumm'. Mr Marley, asked to translate, found himself unable for 10 minutes to decipher his own punchline, and his handwriting was ceremoniously awarded a rating of 0.87 Clutes. The word itself turned out to be 'within'.

100 Years Ago (Continued). More ace sf of '94: H.Rider Haggard's The People of the Mist; Thomas A.Janvier's excitingly post-feminist The Women's Conquest of New York ('Tammany Hall misguidedly enfranchises females, who run amok' -- SF Encyclopedia); Rudyard Kipling's The Jungle Book; William Le Queux's The Great War in England in 1897 ('Look, 1897, 1914, that's better than 99% predictive accuracy....'); Arthur Machen's The Great God Pan; William Morris's The Wood Beyond the World; Gustavus W.Pope's Romances of the Planets, No.1: Journey to Mars, no doubt the germ for the current spate of Mars books; and Mark Twain's transatlantic balloon epic Tom Sawyer Abroad. Also: R.L. Stevenson, the second founder (after Dickens) of steampunk, died in 1894.

Editorial Dialogue (Share and Enjoy): 'I thought there were two Ns in whodunnit?' 'Oh shut up, Barnett. Which proofreader didn't notice issue 3 was dated Saturday 1 April?' 'Oh shut up, Langford....'

Eating Out -- The True Poop. Evolution staggered out on a restaurant hunt last night. 100 yards around the corner was Caesar's Palace. Cheap, plentiful helpings: copious quantities of garlic bread with cheese, and of course the ubiquitous mushrooms. Also lots of nice beers (Pat) and mint-choc-chip icecream, Belgian-chocolate-with-almonds icecream, chocolate-with-chocolate-flakes icecream (Bridget). Mottoes on the sugar packets included: 'A mistake is evidence that someone has tried to do something.' (Thog say: Very profound.) • Howard Rosenblum: Chung's Hing Wah is as good as in the late 60s when it was the Wah Yuen. It's the best Chinese I know in this country.

PAPA male supremacists' meeting: 4pm Sunday, room M1. Bring a swimsuit; there's a jacuzzi.

Illumination PR5. Copies available to Illumination (remember it?) members at the Critical Wave table.

Science Page: Famous Oxford AstrophysicistsTM Clements and Baker report amazing developments in Condensed Matter Fan theory, as applied to jacuzzis. Rumours that they have determined the exact amount of bubblebath required to catalyze fannish fusion were hotly denied by all 38 soggy specimens involved. • 'Gary and Linda Stratmann are marvellously good at generating all this gossip you don't want to hear.'

ConfaPun. The kitchen staff apologize to the Confabulation committee for serving moose for Saturday's lunchtime dessert. (Thog say: A rib-tickler.)

Plugs Demanded. Devolution -- 'the con where you make the decisions'. No dates, locations given. • Octocon '94: 1-2 Oct, Royal Marine Hotel, Dun Laoghaire, Co Dublin. GoH Rob Holdstock. £12 before 1 May -- see flyers for other prices. Octocon will be bidding for the opportunity to be 1997's Eurocon.

Vid Bid. Could anyone who knows who videoed the No Shame Theatre at Illumination (Blackpool 1992) contact David B. Wake via voodoo board?

Pyjama Party? Anyone who knows how to play Hedgehog's Revenge, please tell the Games Room.

Hobbes' Choice. Communication received by Newsroom from 'The Zhargs': 'Tiger Hobbes doesn't "fool" us! He has staged this to escape from prosecuted [sic]. His connection with criminal mastermind, [Unreadable] Lady, will confirm all the previous allegations of GBH to a reporter & political bribes. If he miraculously resurrects somewhere, he will regret it!' • Ops report that one of the investigating teams has accused Daffy Duck of the murder. Motive: 'he's so bloody mad he does this sort of thing all the time.'

Duff Mags. Martin Tudor asks everyone who got a copy of Empties #13 early Friday evening with page 5 missing to bring it to the Critical Wave table in the Hypostyle Hall for replacement.

Filk Alert! Are you sitting comfortably? Then Valerie Housden will begin: 'For those who couldn't stay up for the delayed filk concert last night (Friday), Intersection announced a Special Filk Guest, courtesy of the Flying Filk Fund -- Bob Kanefsky. He is a filker of some notoriety, whose wicked evil parodies have been known to cause people to groan, cringe, weep and fall off their chairs laughing, especially when he gets his victims to perform said parodies. He has accepted the invitation on condition he be provided with protection against potential feline assassins. Apparently not all parody victims are tolerant....'

Ho-Ho-Hobbes. Sergeant Calvin of the North West Mounted Police, using his amazing super-genius brain for detection, has discovered that First Tiger Hobbes was murdered by Suzie Deakins who, in addition to being an acknowledged GIRL, indubitably required spare parts for surgery on Mr Bun, an alleged stuffed rabbit who has, ever since he became known to the police, been apparently comatose! (John Richards)

LARP Larks (advt). The Hypognaeum, Burnley, is a hassle-free LARP site with tavern, market, two dungeon areas, heated sleeping area and secure parking. Improvements constantly being made; banquet area planned. Nexus rents the site 40 weekends annually: using the fair and flexible Realm rules, it provides high-quality adventures (£30pa membership, plus £4 per adventure). All profits ploughed back into costumes/props. The Realm is role-playing as it should be! (Banned? -- Thog) Rules give you the chance to be anyone/anywhere/anywhen: all characters different; all have equal chance. Playtested 7 years; minimum age 18. On non-Nexus weekends the Hypognaeum is available for rent for your system, banquets -- you name it. Further details: Steve Dunn 061-225 7370.

Thog's Masterclass. '... the new Socket was like a titanic concrete bunker, the new elevator cable rising out of it like an elevator cable....' -- Kim Stanley Robinson, Green Mars • 'The flight of F-104's moved up to the apron. Nasty silver birds with wings like sawn-off shotguns.' -- Peter Heath, The Mind Brothers • 'Richards felt a coolness creep into his testicles.' -- Stephen King, The Running Man • 'It took courage to write this book, and it will take courage to read it.' -- Erich von Däniken, Chariots of the Gods?

Credits. Sargasso Sea: Dave Langford. Bermuda Triangle: Paul Barnett. Straits of Messina: John Clute. Davy Jones's Locker: Intersection. Cape of Good Hope: Jilly Reed. Roaring Forties: Abigail Frost. Lowland Sea: Jan van't Ent, Nico Veenkamp. Trade Winds: Duncan Hedderley. Kentish Knock: Paul Kincaid.

Copyprinting courtesy of Gestetner Ltd, Lincoln House, 100 Broadway, Salford, M5 2UW. Contact Peter Maddocks: 061-872-8511.