Cactus Times Volume 4

Number 2 • Saturday Afternoon


Grubby British Seatown With A Selection of Junk Shops

Brian Ameringen scours: Six charity shops, four real bookshops, numerous junk shops ... and one boot fair. Mrs Lofthouse -- Queen Street. Very Large Second Hand Bookshop. About average condition, calibre and prices. Reasonable to good selection of paperback sf priced from 80p to about £2. Very few sf Hardbacks but LOTS of Fiction, Childrens, and other books. Probably open Sunday and Monday, but I forgot to ask. (0947 880 561) • Scarborough Books -- Castle Road. Prestigous, quality books for high-ish prices (e.g. The Carpet People on the First Edition shelves for £8.95 ... unfortunately 'First Thus' i.e. the recent one [be still, my beating heart!]). Open 10-5.30 Sun/Mon. Go take a look, and retreat with thanks to the Bookroom • The Bar Bookshop -- Swan Hill Road (Off North Street). Special award for 'best-hidden and disguised': an ordinary house doubling as a second-hand bookshop, with a large selection of fiction, classics, topography, history, etc. Very little sf and only open 10.30-12.30, 2.30-4.30 TODAY -- but worth a visit if you're interested in other fields • Hanover Arts -- Hanover Road. Nice little bookshop with some sf but mainly remainders, art, biography and similar. A bit crowded with stuff but friendly and helpful. Open 9.00-5.00 today and Monday • Lots more places seem to be strewn around, particularly charity and junk shops, but deadline panic makes me finish in a rush.... Birthdays 29 May: Charles II, 1630; G.K.Chesterton, 1874; Neil R.Jones, 1909; T.H.White, 1906; David T. Cooper (Party Animal), 1963. Fall of Constant-inople, 1453. First Bank Holiday, 1871. Everest climbed 1953. Sir Humphry Davy died 1829.

Programme Changes

There are none. Colin Harris reports that he got some sleep last night.

Programming Cock-Up Number One

The BSFA AGM will still take place (as announced in Matrix) at 12 o'clock on Sunday in the Cornelian Suite. Apologies for leaving it off the programme sheet ... no view held by the committee should be construed from this.

Correction In CT #1

'Ni Kol-Tse. He knows EVERYTHING -- except how many things there are in the jar' should have read 'Ni Kol-Tse. He knows EVERYTHING -- except how many things there are in the jar and the plural of deus ex machina'.

Fanzine Fans Three-line Whip

Fanzine panel is at 4.00pm today! Please make sure you've got a copy of the Mexicon fanthology, and have read it. (There will be a TEST.) Persons of a nervous disposition: be reassured that M Ashley does not feature in this publication. [Nigel E Richardson explains: 'He's been spending too much time having fun with cute nieces. West says he's now taking driving lessons so he can take up joyriding.'] It's the blue fanzine at the registration desk and essential reading.

Eight-Word Novels Comp Latest Red Hot News

An early entry (not by Norman Spinrad) was the eight-word remake of Bug Jack Barron: 'Forever, televised live, she sucked his nitty-gritty.' This one may need more work. Remember -- entries on one side of a piece of paper to Registration, P.Barnett or D.Langford by 8.00pm tonight! Original works and retellings of famous sf/fantasy novels are equally welcome: a prize in each category! Titles are optional (but not to be too bloody long). [Cactus Times proper welcomes eight-word news items, if properly submitted in writing and not about bloody chocolate -- AJF]

Bloody Chocolate

Local Thornton's special offer -- four chocolates for 99p, reports 1/2 r Cruttenden in clear breach of above guidelines. Branch is at top of Huntriss Row.

Five Minutes of Fame

Yes, you can be a luvvie! Join the select and glittering company of Mexicon programme participants by volunteering as a Radio Play character (eight people needed) or a Crackerjack [CRACKERJACK!] Quiz entrant. See Eve Harvey for this once-in-a-lifetime Big Chance, darling.


Eve Harvey, lying under the photocopier with strange man*: 'Oh God no, no, don't do it like that, go the other way ...' (*Oh all right, John Harvey. Who later explained: 'We were just changing position.')


Mike Siddall apologizes profusely to the person who heard him employing Foul Language and complained to the hotel porter. Since the offending word was 'bastards', solicitous Bernie Evans asks the complainer to visit her at Registration, where she will be glad to teach him or her a number of more advanced terms.

Or Give Me Death

Roz Kaveney announces that if Mike Siddall or anyone else would like to join the National Council For Civil Liberties (called by its ideologically unsound wing Liberty) she has the forms. Roz and Avedon Carol are both members of the NCCL Executive, but don't let that put you off this utterly triff organisation.

Weerde Tales

Mary Gentle, Roz Kaveney and Alex Stewart will be signing copies of Weerde II at the Andromeda table 1500-1600 Saturday. ('Me too,' claims Dave Langford.)

Are You Politically Challenged?

If you're a BSFA member, we can offer professional assistance and counselling ... (Kev McVeigh: 'Start again!') For members only, the BSFA AGM is at noon on Sunday (Cornelian). Empires will topple and a new order of things will emerge. They say.


'I've got a big one too!' (Colin Fine) • 'Paul Brazier is the most huggable man in the known universe.' (KIM Campbell) • 'I was Morris dancing in Utrecht ...' • 'Oh, I'll have to do something really scandalous to get mentioned.' (Eileen Weston -- she did!) • 'The symbolism of a one-legged dinosaur with an enormous erection is perhaps best not explored.' • 'The new BSFA Coordinator has got to have better legs than Kev McVeigh' (our Political Analyst writes) • 'Oh, Christ, Charlie, you haven't brought a computer?' Grinning Charles Stross, hefting vast case, 'It's worse than that, Jim, it's a manuscript.'

Food Spot

Someone liked Wackers Fish & Chip Restaurant (Vernon Road) enough to press their card eagerly upon us. Open 7 days • Proud owner of a stud parrot, the follicularly challenged Ian Sales has managed to disappoint the grasping restauranteurs of Scarborough by the simple expedient of bringing his own sandwiches. (NAF) [You said it -- AJF] • Need to get rid of excess food? The 'Jetboats' from the front are hotly recommended: £1.90 for about 20 minutes; good speed, great cornering.

Speller Bares S.F. All!

The story to go with this headline has yet to reach Cactus Times.

Cabinet re-reshuffle

Presumably the reason why the reconfigured Mexicon committee (Cactus Times #1) did not contain a tech member is that the present team is deemed irreplaceable. (NAF)

Ops Manager's Great Personal Sacrifice

'Have you seen John's giant penis? It's pinned up at the top of the stairs to Nick's Bar.'

Food Spot II

Nick's Bar -- the main convention bar -- is now open! Unused breakfast tickets can be used as part payment for snack meals there 12.30-2.30, 5.00-7.00 and 10.30-11.30. (Also, the beer's better [it shaysh here] than in the Terrace Bar, which is open to mundanes.) The bar in the Cornelian is open as advertised in the programme leaflet.

People's Video

Steve Hubbard announces a showing of two short (five-minute) computer-animated (mostly) videos: Love Bytes (directed by Peter 'Eat the Peach' Ormrod, a live-action/animation promo for a possible feature (contains bits unsuitable for children) and Juro Tours, the visuals for a theme park simulator ride. Cornelian Bar, 5.00pm.

Questing Hacks

Miss Abigail Frost would cringingly like to thank her betters, viz Barnett and Langford, for condescending to share their mighty expertise with humble little her, and remind Kincaid that he's on tonight at 6.30. Thanks also to both Harveys, Mike (Mr Crash) Ford, Alison Scott, etc. We forgot to mention Dave Carson for his very wonderful cactus logo. Well, we've mentioned him now. Our reverence for GFP remains undiminished [29/5/93].

The Wayside Pulpit

'Fandom is a damn sight better life than pushing peanuts up the Pennines with your penis.'