Some of us secret masters feel that the Maules (and for that matter the Cockfield) with their 'Picacon' are really letting the side down. There's this great basic idea of an Alternative Eastercon without the nasty neos despised by every true fan... and Picacon spoils it by going for a huge membership of 50-100. What kind of exclusiveness is this? The clever timing does admittedly keep out such notorious fakefans as Jim Barker, but such a spacious convention will inevitably attract trash from Leeds, Reading, 5 Beaconsfield Road etc. (Even Glaswegians might turn up – naturally we can't afford to travel up there, but these affluent sods will persist in attending Southern conventions.) Anyway: LANGFORDCON will be different. It will be held in Reading over the Easter weekend, 1980; the precise venue is undecided, but several rooms in Northumberland Avenue are being investigated. Membership will be strictly limited to single figures. The following events are planned:
* Long session of gloating over superior fannishness of LANGFORDCON attendees, with mocking laughter for nerds in Scotland and 5 Beaconsfield Road who don't know what they're missing.
* Phone Glasgow and sneer at Jim Barker for choosing the wrong convention at which to be Fan Guest of Honour. Savour his inarticulate cries of rage.
* Future site selection: each and every attendee can announce the site of his/her own Alternative Eastercon in 1981, secure in the knowledge that voters at Albacon are powerless to affect the bid!
* Psychic-powers contest, as BSFA Council members in attendance strive to influence the AGM from afar. (Hieronymous machines will not be permitted.)
* Further gloating on account of not having to buy Rog Peyton's books, bid in con auctions, vote for Doc Weir awards, lean on bars, go to room parties, lord it over neos, meet Jim Barker... all the things which make convention-going a chore.
* Panel discussions: "Of Course Fans Aren't Elitist!" and "How To Unify Fandom".
NOW FILL IN THIS FORM AND RETURN TO LANGFORDCON, 22 Northumberland Avenue, Reading, Berks. RG2 7PW, UK. VAT Reg No 292 6643 31. Approved to BS 3704. No foreign cheques.
Yes: to hell with the Eastercon! I'm with you 100% there, boss, and [please tick whichever of the following is applicable]...
{ } I'd love to come to LANGFORDCON; my £35 registration fee and BNF credentials are enclosed.
{ } I am Ian Maule/Janice Maule/Dave Cockfield/Delete As Necessary and I'm very hurt by your attempt to sabotage Picacon by running this rival affair. It's just not fannish.
{ } I am holding my own exclusive alternative convention over the Easter weekend in 1980. It is called ______con and the registration fee is £_____. You are/are not invited to attend.
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