K38

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K38, an APAzine for PIECES OF EIGHT, from A. Vincent Clarke, 16 Wendover Way, Welling, Kent, DA16 2BN, for November '93.

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UPDATE

In case you're wondering, the operation I had in September wasn't a complete success, and I'm awaiting for a call from the hospital for another elaborate x-ray – you get kept in overnight – to see if another op. is needed.

Incidentally, I was called in to the Cardiac Unit for what they called a "24hr. tape". Rather naively, I suppose, I turned up with shaving kit, pyjamas, etc. for an overnight stay. Instead they stuck electrodes all over my chest, connected them to a tape-recorder which they slung around my neck, and sent me straight back home until the morrow.

I think the word I'm searching for to describe the next 24 hours is 'uncomfortable'.

That was a fortnight ago, and nothing dramatic has happened. Just as well.

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COMMENTS ON OCTOBER '93 MAILING

THROUGH THE SPEAKING TRUMPET – JDR

As you put down the speaking trumpet and lurch off the bridge, let me say it was a smo-o-oth and sauve performance, not to say sophisticated and sadistic. Trust the easing of your burden will lead to ever-larger Arachnos.

COTTAGE PIE REHEATED – Ian Bambro

Nice reading. That's an interesting few paras. about what I think is usually termed the Protestant Work Ethic. I must confess my own viewpoint has swung violently at various points in life, but overall I had what a born layabout might term a fatal character flaw. I found very early on that you could treat Work as a puzzle. Each day brought problems which had to be solved as efficiently and quickly as possible, and this was so fascinating that I can honestly say that I never found a job boring or tiresome.

I suppose that I was helped by never having really monotonous work. Even when I was in a factory, I happened to be lucky enough to be in a workshop which specialised in the production of just a few components of each pattern. What I'd have done if I'd gone to another 'shop' where you oversaw the making of the same item month in and month out on an automatic machine I don't know. (Well, yes, I do know – I'd have looked for another job.)

Like you, for most of my working life I was engaged in 'indoor jobs with no heavy lifting' except for a period (in the RAF) when I was engaged in loading a tip-up truck from a railway coal wagon, and susequently delivering the stuff in sacks. As it happened, this built up a little muscle which had been missing, but on the other hand I was enthusiastic (read 'naive') enough to use the new-fangled detergent washing powder on my hair each night.... Anyway, that's one explanation for the lack of golden locks forever afterwards.

Incidentally, I later found out that whilst doing the coalman's job I had a hernia. They'd discovered this when I had my first 'medical' for the RAF, but hadn't bothered to tell me.

That's enough about me. I'll waffle on about being an electrician on a lighthouse (still in the RAF) some other time.

CRITICAL RELATIVES – Andrew M. Butler

Was somewhat taken aback by this. Having a deeply suspicious (or maybe old and cynical) mind, to me this extremely well-crafted account reads just like fiction. If it's for real, then I envy the quality of writing when the subject is so deeply and personally emotional.

But why? Without going into old-fashioned stuff like washing one's dirty linen in public, I wonder at the reason why it was written, if true. For helpful suggestions? No way – as far as I know there are no practising psychiatrists in our small but happy band. For sympathy? You have, of course, the full synpathy of everyone who reads it, especially those who've known someone who hasn't been able to cope with life. For reassurance? As far as one can see you just have the normal amount of hang-ups. Compared to millions of people all over the world – starving amputees in Angola, people being burnt or shot in Bosnia, etc. etc., – you have it pretty good. As far as one can tell you're as sane as most people, and with your insight you should be able to keep it that way.

STRANGE DEBRIS 14 – Chris Carne

RYCT JDR – Just had 3 Notes and Queries PBs from The Softback Preview, which are an enormous repository of esoteric wisdom (Were there deck-chairs on the Titanic? Why is the most common form of hetero-sexual coupling called the missionary position? etc.), and the rules of Mornington Crescent are mentioned therein, much as you've described them. Move on to something else?

RYCT Brian, light suddenly dawns, as I've been wondering how people can get hold of the marvellously cheap PCs which you and Brian have written about. Of course – 'old' machines discarded from universities. Doesn't get me nearer to acquiring one, but it's nice to know.

RYCT me on drinking beer or cider – would you believe that I was so innocent when I first started going into bars (to meet fans, not to imbibe) that I picked cider as a good alternative to lemonade and orangeade? After the first spell of giddiness I learnt better.

MARAUDER 45 – Ken Cheslin

RYCT Theo – foxes and cats are favourite subjects in the letter columns of my local rag. This week one reader mentions 'watching the foxes share their food with a stray cat I've adopted' whilst another says 'Get your cat in as soon as dusk falls...' for fear, presumably, that it might become a foxy supper.

A much more passionate subject in these letter columns is the fact that in peaceful, dormitory-suburb Welling, we have the headquarters of the British National Party. As you'll have seen in the media, there has been angry protest marches against it, and these have led to equally angry letters in the local press from people unlucky enough to live in the vicinity of the HQ. As it happens, the site is over a mile from 16WWW, and well away from any route marchers might take, so the Way sleeps on undisturbed.

This is now turning out to be a classic example of the worth or otherwise of protest marches. Police and marchers are being injured, some property has been damaged, and the BNP HQ remains unhurt. It all seems a bit futile.

Your story reads more like a synopsis than a proper yarn, and the Japanese background and even the cause of the war need developing. The stuff about a name followed by '.40' needs some explanation, and gun-pods on a spaceship? "There was much head scratching..." is boys yarn wording. Sorry, Ken, but it's not a good specimen of story-telling.

WHICH WAY FROM HERE? – Dop

One of the best-looking APAzines I've seen. And the text held interest too, even when you were deciding to pass on a doughnut to have a sausage roll.

Re. the note on Lord Dunsany, it should be easier to pick up PBs rather than hard-cover, all of the latter being fairly rare. Look out for Ballantine 'Adult Fantasy' series (nice comforting title?), which include Beyond The Fields We Know, At The Edge of The World, Over the Hills and Far Away – all of which have selections from various hard-cover books – and, published by Dell The King of Elfland's Daughter, a complete book.

Your search for employment fascinating. The IBM job sounds like the sort of thing I'd have liked if I was 40 years younger ('solving puzzles'), but when one thinks of the complexity of the computer scene, the constant invention of new projects....Cor!

I suppose the Caitlin Moran I mentioned must be the Channel 4 irritant – name's unusual – but I know nothing of Naked City.

FRAGMENTS – Mike Gould

Nice outlines of various trips, tho' what I noticed most was your reference to picking up a Wodehouse book. Tara also collects Wodehouse. This means that I might be able to dispose of a boxful of PGW to friends instead of taking them down to a local charity shop. I'll publish a list ASAP.

RYCT Keith. My memory seems to be very good at forgetting unpleasant things – whole years have vanished without mental record, it seems, as well as minor embarrassments. I'm not sure if this is a Good Thing or not – surely one should learn from unpleasant things as well as the more bearable events?

Well laid out 'zine, Mike, tho' the cover is too heavily symbolic (ie. meaningless) for me.

LITTLE BITS OF ZERO – Carol Ann Green

Sorry to hear of illness, and forthcoming operation. Keep cheerful.

RYCT Paul. This idea of 'progression through musical tastes' sounds a bit odd to me. Can such a thing be linear? As far as I can remember, if I liked something 50 years ago, whether a simple pop tune or a Bach concerto, I still like it. And contrariwise.

ROPE OF SAND – Brian Jordan

Very nice layout – the two columns just right. Fascinating on the trips to Ham radio rallies – the sort of thing I love to read about. The mention of morse code reminds me that when I visited Walt Willis in the early '80s, he had some kind of gizmo which translated morse into words on a VDU.

RYCT Keith – Yes, five of us ex-OMPAns in PoE; unlikely to be any more, tho. Looking at the list of members in your heyday – an enormous number of whom were Americans – the comparatively few British (except for the five mentioned) are now non-active and show every sign of remaining so; Bennett, Locke, Lindsay, Mercer, Patrizio, etc. Terry Jeeves keeps a tenuous hold on fandom with a fanzine, ERG, which is extremely idiosyncratic and not to everyone's taste. The list for the '70s is similar.

RYCT Maureen; When I was on Folkestone beaches many years ago (I think the stretch was called The Warren), it was quite simple to walk along by the sea edge and pick up ammonites and similar, or even veer over to the cliff face and dig them out. Has the place been exhausted over the last 25 years?

RYCT Sue – wasn't Starlite on Tomorrow's World? Seem to remember it there. I used to be glued to TW once, but 'What The Papers Say', which is annoyingly scheduled half-way through TW, has claimed my allegiance recently.

Your new printer in excellent.

WONDERFUL – Rosemary Pardoe

Welcome, Rosemary, after all these years, but having said that afraid that most of the musical names and titles you cite are just that to me. I was fairly busy during the '60s and never managed to sort 'em out except for the Beatles.

THE ONE PERCENT FREE – Darroll Pardoe

I understand the misgivings re Rob Hansen's THEN. I tried to help on the '60s by getting some fans around to 16WWW to gossip about it – I think it was the last time that '60s fan Ian Peters poked his head up above the mundane parapet – but inevitably Ted Tubb took over most of the talk. Rob evidently thought that with so many '70s fanzines and fans still available, anything worthwhile must have been written down somewhere!

THE ARACHNO FILE – John D. Rickett

RAEBNC

THE STRUTHIAN PERSPECTIVE – Theo Ross

The criticism of JP very funny and very true. Did anyone note the recent saga of the US nuclear sub which sank itself? An 'accidentally armed' torpedo discharged, which circled around and hit the sub? Unlikely but apparently true, and makes the fictional boobs a little more understandable, even tho' they were planning errors rather than design flaws.

Agree with the disgust re. 'violence is enter-tainment' – even as long ago as Alien I remember going to the cinema and being taken aback at the audience reaction to John Hurt's chest being ripped asunder, which was mostly laughter. My reaction to this was to keep away from places of public entertainment as much as possible.

RYCT Sue. Have completely Philistine feelings towards Tarot, tho' I do have an oddity in the archives – a Tarot pack in which each card is illustrated by a different sf fan artist.

RYCT John. Ah, milliard! I knew that the word existed but couldn't remember it. Checking, I see that a thousand million was a billion in the US and France, but a thousand times as much in England and Germany. Odd....was it the scientific community that forced the change, as they did with temperature?

RYCT Keith. Yes, the speeding up of time works at 16WWW too. Summers go in a flash, Christmases occur every other month. On the other hand, the folk-storied crystal clear recollection of youth doesn't seem to be happening yet, rather to my disappointment. I was trying to write a small essay on a (fan) episode that happened in '49 the other day, and couldn't even remember if my flat-mate of that period, Ken Bulmer, had a beard then.

But I've no recollection of ever waking up the in wrong year. Guess your deep-sleep hypothesis is correct.

A BRIDGE TOO FAR – Brian Stovold

Caption: I suppose the obvious one would be "You should have gone before we started", a less obvious one "Yes, you've grown twice as high as Daddy because in less gravity...."

Can't imagine a more depressing phenomenon than moors in the rain on a holiday.

Sorry about the lack of enthusiasm – hope your spirits revive. Congratulations on the engagement.

TRICHINOPOLY – Tara & Barry

See my remark to Mike Gould re. PGW. That's a good exegesis of the history of the unfortunate war episode, tho' I believe he was living in France when the Germans reached him. At the time the British press treated the news as a trivial episode, more or less treating Wodehouse as a fool who didn't know what he was saying. Britain had far more serious things to worry about.

Like the better distinction between your opinions.

The zine is as full of comment hooks as a curly-spined porcupine; RYCT me on beer and cigarettes, agree on disgusting habit of the latter ('ware former Cap'n JDR blustering over the horizon), but I've never tasted enough beer actually to form an opinion as to whether it's been used as an ashtray.

RYCT Paul: Yes, the thought sometimes crosses my mind when watching The Antiques Road Show and the like that if I'd only known that Dinky toy or whatever was going to be worth that much in 'x' years time.... I guess you've got to pick something that is produced in a limited quantity, or has a limited life.

But during my lifetime I've noticed an increase in nostalgia, which is odd considering WWII and the A-bomb and so on. Aside from remarks to Theo above, life does seem to be taking on an acceleration, which is perhaps a bit overwhelming. Think of the advances in computer science in the last fifteen years, or DNA coding, or videos or CDs, for instance. I think part of the reason is that a lot of the advances, whether entertainment or medical or whatever have immediate personal application. In my youth, manufacturers might, say, advance the air speed record through better engineering techniques, but it didn't directly affect the general population.

Below, and decidedly not for sale, is the cover of one of the rarest books I have, very much germane to the above comments. In 1909 you could purchase it for a shilling. During the last five years I've seen offers of £300/£400 for it.