K29

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K28, an APAzine for PIECES OF EIGHT, Nov. '92, from A. VINCENT CLARKE, 16 Wendover Way, Welling, Kent, DA16 2BN. "Terry Pratchett has had a dream that we won. The next thing to happen in the dream was that the UK appointed a frog as king. This is what passes for scientific polling in fandom". (SMALL MAMMAL account of Glasgow bidding for the '95 World Con. at MagiCon).

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UPDATE

As I write, about the middle of October (unusually early for 'K' which is often completed the day before deadline – but it ain't finished yet), London fandom is in a greater state of confusion than normal. As I mentioned in the last 'K' I understood that the Hamilton had offered to reserve places for us on the October 'first Thursday' meeting'. Getting up there extremely early with Derek Pickles, we found that there was a *BEER FESTIVAL*, and there was wall-to-wall quaffing going on.

Enquiring, I was told that the Hamilton had waited in vain for a confirmatory telephone call. Anarchic London fandom had struck again. And when I say 'struck' I mean that nobody had done anything.

So I guess that on that Thursday night we were spread over four London pubs (if there was still a small meet at the Wellington). Derek and I, despairing of finding seats, went along to the Fenchurch St. Wine Vault, where our gallant Cap'n and Chris Carne were ensconced in the cellar along with 20 or 30 other fans. A reasonably good rest-of-the-evening ensued, but I'm waiting from post to post for some sort of official proclamation from someone.

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Derek, as your lightning-like intelligences will have gathered from the foregoing, came down and sampled some of the curiosities of the Clarke museum of Fantiquities. Giving him a quick run-through of what had been happening during the 35 years he'd Rip Van Winkled, I came across once again that oddity which has been puzzled me previously. During the '70s there were more books published about sf than in any other decade.

It wasn't because publishers heard of a World Con coming up in Brighton in '79, as some books came out in the mid-'70s. Must have been STAR WARS and the like leading to a greater public awareness. Still happening in the States – I recently bought THE WORLD BEYOND THE HILL by Alexei & Cory Panshin, (Tarcher '89) which is a h-u-g-e (685p.) survey of the field up to 1945, with the later period mostly about ASTOUNDING (Analog) and UNKNOWN. I imagine it's raised a few hackles in the States. Briefly (you want me to sum up 685 pages in a para or two?), it's not a straight history but an interesting thesis on the stages of sf from simple horror (Walpole and Shelley) through the 'Techno-Age' of Gernsback when every story was supposed to support the view that science would conquer all to J.W. Campbell "wondering about ways of engineering the human psyche so as to avert the disaster that he saw as imminent" (ie. atomic war and similar). A very interesting book, especially to one who's 'golden age of sf' trailed to a close in about '55.

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I went to the 2nd. VINTAGE PULP AND PAPERBACK FAIR in London's Grosvenor Hotel, and there lusted after many a pocket-book and early pulp, experiencing at the same time a surge of that smugness that you get when you see something offered at an expensive price that you've already got. I picked up (prior arrangement) the four '70s AMAZINGs carrying The Enchanted Duplicator, and saw various folk including Andy Porter, editor of the US Science Fiction Chronicle, Phil Harbottle, who edited the '70s zine VORTEX, Syd Bounds, who goes back even further than I, and other people one doesn't see in the usual fan haunts. Didn't see any of you lot, though.

But I went away moodily thinking that possibly I made a mistake and should have made lotsamoney earlier in life to satisfy these odd desires for WONDER STORIES at £15.00 each etc.

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SOS. Rob Hansen has now reached 1977 in his recording of British fandom in THEN 4, and is asking questions about a London University sf 'do' (seminar?) in May or June of that year. A search through fanzines of the period has failed to turn up anything. I know that most of you are far away from London, but there's just a remote possibility that at that time you were in the capital. Anyone any knowledge? It may have been called – heaven help us – something like 'Luunacon'. A date is the most important item. It may have been recorded in what is virtually a throw-away sheet of London sf happenings called Small Mammal which has been issued to every London meeting since the early '70s. Who knows if any still exist? Rob is searching the pockets of discarded suits and bags.

BUTTERFLY QUEST

The question posed by our gallant Cap'n on the story which featured butterflies continues to exasperate. No, it ain't the epic featured on the left, neither is it:

"Then, in mid-air before the imminent, ever-rising cloud, I perceived two flying creatures whom I can compare only to gigantic moths...Their wings were sumptuously mottled webs of pearl and madder, opal and orange; their heads were circled by a series of convex and concave eyes, and fringed with coiling, horn-like organs from whose hollow end there hung aerial filaments...."

Which, from the somewhat exotic language employed ('sumptuously', 'madder' etc.) you might correctly guess is by Clark Ashton Smith, in City Of The Singing Flame, a 1931 epic. Yes, I've sought long and delved deep, but so far no luck.

JDR says that it may be a early Badger publication or similar low-class yarn, but there must be

something unique in it for it to dwell in the memory. Unless, of course, that it's so bad – rather, say, like the film Plan Nine From Outer Space, that it sits in the mind like an ulcer.

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DOWN TO FUNDAMENTALISM

Had an odd leaflet with one of the freebie newspapers; it seems to be advertising staff vacancies in the missionary field (2000!), and is very honest in laying out conditions – "Pay: Very Poor" and "Hours: Very Long", etc. It also says "If God has spoken to you through this leaflet then contact us now!" and "Don't delay & allow Satan to rob you of your inheritance" which is a little more obscure. But what intrigues me is that one of the listed sponsors is Kodak. Huh?

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SINGULAR WANT LIST

"If you need a new addiction try Spenser" blurbed the CHICAGO SUN, and I confess I've fallen for the private eye books by Robert B Parker, featuring the humorous Spenser.

In fact, I've accumulated them very rapidly, but can't find one which RBP did with Joan Parker, THREE WEEKS IN SPRING. I'd be obliged if you'd all keep an eye open for it and let me know if you find it available anywhere. Will recompense all expenses, of course. Publishers are Penguin over here, seem to be Berkely or Dell in the US.

Pocket book preferred. Ta.

COMMENTS ON OCT. '92 MAILING

THROUGH THE SPEAKING TRUMPET – Cap'n

Smooth as usual. Lucky there weren't any more official notes or we'd be getting out the magnifying glasses.

In complete agreement with everything from the logo to the Copy Count wanted. Good – and thanks.

MARAUDERs 10 & 10½ – Ken Cheslin

No.10; Your plea for more innovative offerings in PoE is likely to fall on deaf ears. I think most of us are into communication rather than the individual ego trips needed.

When I helped to form OMPA in the dim and distant past I thought that it'd be an opportunity for bright people to spread themselves. It didn't really happen. About the most innovative person was John Roles, who did the famous (in fannish circles) edible Xmas Card and was noted for experiments with coloured paper and inks – in those days of duplicating there were many colours of both available (you remember white ink on black paper, Ken?). These and Dave Bridges in the '70s who did some interesting experiments were really all the non-standard efforts that I've seen or read about. I think that we're looking at your basic conflict of interests here – time, effort, money to produce something different...but for only a limited audience.

I will now continue the comments in the form of a comic strip....

Or maybe not.

RYCT Theo on digital watches. One of the things the RAF taught me (aside from learning to ride a bicycle) was the 24hr. clock system, which always struck me as eminently sensible, and made the digital watch completely comprehensive when it came along. I note that although time-tables have all adopted the 24hr. clock long since, the RADIO TIMES still sticks to AM & PM – I wonder why?

Agree with your other comments, but I'm struck by the fact that your caption for the back page cartoon could very nearly be the original – it's obviously (note electric guitar) a modern masquerade of some sort. And doesn't the guy eating from a bag of chips look like a long-haired John Major?

MARAUDER 10½: Nice re-drawing of the old favourite on the cover – I particularly like the cat lower-left and the mouse on the rail (from Disney World?).

Inside, the 'GUFF' caption has a tiny advantage over Theo's 'Cheela Ambassador' but they're pretty good throughout . There's obviously more to writing captions than meets the eye.

Incidentally, thinking of that GUFF caption, I once reviewed a book (in MICROWAVE) where the authoress had the heroes, lost in an English mine-shaft, wander about prehistoric tunnels until they came to the bottom of an Australian mine-shaft. They don't write 'em like that any more.

K28 – self

I've thought now and again of the Dave Wood game – an amalgamation of a literary classic and an sf book to produce a piquant first paragraph, eg.

HOTHOUSE GENESIS by Divine Inspiration/Brian Aldiss: "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth; obeying an inalienable law, things grew, growing riotous and strange in their impulse for growth".

Of course, the definition of a 'literary classic' is a bit like that one of sf – "It's what I'm pointing at". They should, I suppose, stand outside of time and space, so wherever you are in the world and in whatever century you can call a collection of works 'classics'. Possibly a better definition would be 'a work which is given to children as a good example of writing'. But then we find ourselves floundering in a sticky metaphysical morass because fashions change in writing. For example, kids are still expected to study THE MILL ON THE FLOSS when CATCH 22 or 1984 might be more appropriate. Or possibly, says he, looking at the political scene, ALICE IN WONDERLAND.

And, cleverly linking literary classics with the remarks on the 24hr. time system, anyone looked at the opening paragraph of 1984 lately? "It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen".

LADIES, FISH AND GENTLEMEN – Sept – Dop.

Welcome, and what a good example of a computerised 'zine. Note that you like really awful movies, a taste which I share, tho' lack of time and money prevent me from doing much more than read about them in the Medved bros. books or in collections of reviews, eg. Leonard Maltin's comment on FURY OF THE WOLF MAN – "You'd be furious too if you had to appear in a film like this".

I won't comment on the music likes listed as I don't know anything about any of them, but I like the general style – compressed but very readable. Don't get the remark on your being 5'10" tall.

THE REPAIRER OF REPUTATIONS – Oct – Dop

RYCT me on the Bravestarr quote: Oh, I dunno, it entertained me.

Liked your definition of the necessities of life – CDs and books.

Your title is from THE KING IN YELLOW – any reason?

WATCHER FROM THE SHADOWS – Jenny Glover

Much sympathy on the sciatica; must be horrible to suffer from it whilst picking up after the kids.

The two paras. on series books have set me wondering which was the first series of books where the characters actually aged, where times changed. Would they have been Sir Rider Haggard's stories of Allan Quartermain, KING SOLOMON'S MINES and the like? I seem to remember that Allan was killed off fairly quickly in the second or third book, but then was so popular that Haggard filled in his life, as it were, (THE ANCIENT ALLAN, ALLAN'S WIFE, etc.) in further volumes.

And there was LITTLE WOMEN, of course, with two or three sequels, not to mention Sherlock Holmes.

LITTLE BITS OF ZERO – Carol Ann Green

Nice flow, tho the look's a trifle crowded. Possibly you could use a smaller type face? Interesting on the furniture arranging; no attic space, I presume?

RYCT me on feminist sf/fanzines, I'll keep an eye open whilst going through the collection for anything likely to be useful. But I can't help on KHATRU (you spelt it right). It was a fanzine in the US, edited by one Jeffrey D. Smith, and ran between Feb. '75 and June '79 for a total of 7 issues, but afraid I haven't any of them. Will make enquiries in the US.

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BUTTERFLY UPDATE

HAH! Is this it?

"Dr. Blane set the rocket down gently. He unstrapped himself, stood up and gazed through the plastiglass dome. A quarter of a mile away he saw two motionless figures standing erect on a stretch of brown and crimson rock. Focussing the binoculars, Dr. Blane made out a cloud of butterflies hovering about ten feet above the men. The heads of his two companions were strangely obscured, but dull sunlight glinted on the surface of a headpiece lying at the feet of one of them".

Yep, their skulls have been picked clean by "small powerful mandibles"......

It's a story actually called 'Butterflies' by Edmund Cooper, contained in a collection entitled TOMORROW'S GIFT, a Digit Book. In my copy the copyright date is given as 1058; nobody's acknowledged as the translator from the original Latin.

Whew-w – I'm glad that's over. I hope.

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DAY FOR NIGHT:who – Paul Kincaid

That's a marvellous couple of pages on the art of writing – should appear in any future anthology lifted from this APA. The transparent honesty is very satisfying.

It's also sharpened in my mind the difference a review can make. I can read a review before or after I buy/read the book. In my particular case, in the 'before' situation, this is mainly to see, to put it simply, what the book's about. I'm not interested in the reviewer's opinion. He/she may have had a tiff with a significant other the morning that the review was written, or be suffering from constipation or dyspepsia. On the other hand, there might have been a refund from the IR in that morning's post. Whatever, extraneous factors might have predjudiced the reviewer's opinion, as well as his/her feelings about the author which again must be subjective. In the circumstances, the 'before' situation, I try not to be swayed by anything except the outline of the plot (or, in the case of non-fiction, the subject matter), and who the author is.

But now I've read the book, and I come across a review of it by Paul Kincaid in FOUNDATION. What do I do now?

Why, if I have time I read it to see what Paul's opinion is, and whether he brings any fresh insights into his reading of the text. There's a slight possibility (meaning no disrespect) that two heads are better than one and that I shall learn something that affects my attitude towards the book. But the chances are that what I'll read is someone elses opinion, formed by his state of mind and with little relevance to my own personal and of course subjective feelings.

Whether I then burst into print with a highly excited damning of Paul for his non-appreciation of a classic is then a matter of chance. Probably, I should think, not.

On the question of Asa Carter, the guy who wrote a sympathetic book on Indians but who was strongly segregationist or worse, I wouldn't like to dissect a right-wing American's views, but they don't seem inconsistent. I presume that to his type of mind it's easy enough to portion humanity off into small lots, not even 'us' and 'them' but Race A, B, C, etc. Blacks are bad, Indians are noble and Red.....When you get down to this level of unsemantic thinking, I should think that it's just a matter of chance as to whom you hate. Interesting, though.

RYCT Theo: You touch a small nerve in the bit about whether great men shape history. I had a fairly neutral feeling about this until, of all things, Joseph Nicholas was holding forth about Rob Hansen's THEN, and opined that fandom would have carried on its various ways in spite of the shakers and movers within it. On a small scale, this reflected Joseph's (and Marx's) idea that history is shaped by forces, and is to my thinking patently absurd. On a larger scale, if Henry VIII hadn't been the character he was, we'd still be saying 'Hail Marys' and confessing our sins.

RYCT Carol Ann and tying in (hah! homogeneity) your comments on remainders and Theodore Sturgeon, I went up to Town a couple of years ago and in the first remainder bookshop I entered (Booksmith) there leapt to the eye THEODORE STURGEON by Lucy Menger, a PB from Fredk. Ungar in the States. It was written in '81, before Sturgeon's death. As a Sturgeon fan from way back I was especially glad to find some mention of his Western yarns, which had completely passed me by.

Very nice account of Hasticon. George Hay is quite a character – I had at one time a sheet where he was busily organising Dianetics or Scientology (I forget which), and also his one and only fanzine, which was not notable.

WELCOME TO THE CHEAP SHEETS/BODY LANGUID – Kev McVeigh

RYCT me on 'B.T.'; you misunderstand me – your previous effort was so illegible (maybe I had a bad copy) that I could literally only pick out the odd sentence here and there. Will now be alert when Buffalo Tom is aired, in the hope it's the best r & r band since the '50s, but they've rather a lot of opposition to beat.

And sure, I can still dimly remember enthusiasm and emotional response, such as the first time I heard Beethoven's 6th. or of the dropping of the first atomic bomb, or for that matter going on CND rallies. Enthusiasm's a marvellous thing, but mostly for the young, I'm afraid.

Your list of Causes admirable.

I think your correspondent in VECTOR was taking a short-sighted view – in all the names and events you cite only Profumo is home based as far as I can tell. Taking it from a completely insular British view-point the '60s were peaceful. One of the cheering things about progress is that the bastard product of science and entertainment, TV, has shrunk the world so that we are all participants in everything. Good thing too.

From your review I don't think I'd buy Written On the Body before reading it from the library.

THE ONE PER CENT FREE – Darroll Pardoe

RYCT Eunice – I've been sitting here for ten minutes trying to remember the first film I saw and can't. Was it so awful that I've repressed it? What hidden depths etc etc etc.?

GALANTY No. 5 – Derek Pickles

Mudd? Only one I know is a character in STAR TREK.

RYCT me: re. button polishing etc. I suppose the most annoying thing I endured in the RAF was always having to wear a hat when outside, even in a walk of 50 yards to the Mess. I retaliated, as I suppose must thousands of others, by swearing never to wear a hat again. Have you ever noticed? In pre-war photos everyone wears hats, afterwards zilch. I kept up this resistance until about 5 years ago, when an ever decreasing thatch made it cold on top.

I don't remember the Maastricht treaty coming up in these august pages before (should that be october pages?) but I guess I'm for it. What would help would be a booklet on it; when the French had their referendum there was something about a copy of the whole treaty being distributed to every French household. I should say this is highly unlikely, but as someone who's permanently suspicious of newspaper coverage I'd like to see something on an event which is of some importance made available.

THE ARACHNO FILE 23 – J.D. Rickett

I haven't a dish-washing machine, but my guess is that all the silver plate and gold cutlery is being stacked unevenly. Further news awaited. 'What We Did On Our Holiday' very readable, but no particular comment that doesn't contain a faint overtone of envy occurs. But the style is becoming recognisable!

RYCT me; yes, you're right about astronomical stuff being in metric – can't imagine what I could have been thinking of.

Odd – I can't seem to find much to comment on at length in this ARACHNO FILE. There's bits and pieces....RYCT Eunice on series. I've never read any Dumarest books but am told by Ted Tubb that finally bringing his hero to Earth was done in the 30th. or 31st. book in the series, but it wasn't published because of upsets in the DAW publishing empire (Elsie's death and then Don Wollheim). When I said "So that ends the series, Ted?" he shrugged and said "Well, Dumarest then has all Earth to explore....".

RYCT Derek: Arcane jobs; how about electrician on a lighthouse – for the RAF? I for one refuse to be drawn on the c---? lion at Waterloo, tho' I did sneak a look at Nairn's London without success.

RYCT Carol Ann: Desert Island words – I like the names of precious stones – amethyst, sapphire, chrysolite, topaz, opal, turquoise and the magnificent lapiz-lazuli

The Machado poem is quite harrowing enough, thanks, and so true.

THE STRUTHIAN PERSPECTIVE – Theo Ross

I don't know anything about the Baron's Game, but it sounds like an excuse for some pretty rough-and-tumble. I mean, what happened when a ball-carrying peasant was caught by a baron? Upending until the ball emerged? Hope you hear more from someone else.

RYCT Carol Ann; though never naive enough to ask a pro-author how he 'thinks up' his stories (at least, I don't remember doing so and I'm still here, aren't I?), some little experience many years ago turned my writing to things I knew about (or thought I knew about) rather than clomping around in the realms of the imagination. It's still a big blooming mystery to me, and I'm fascinated by the odd explanations about 'how the author did it'.

Enjoyed the rest of TSP but no particular comment.

TRAVELS IN HYPER-REALITY – Maureen Speller

I'm sorry to suggest it, but for someone with asthma I wouldn't have thought the presence of cats would have been all that beneficial. It's not quite the same thing, but son-in-law has hayfever and is intensely allergic to pet animals. If he goes into a pub where a dog is kept behind the bar he only has to be there a few minutes and reactions start – running eyes, etc. This also inhibits the making of friends with people who have cats or dogs, of course. His mother was a heavy smoker and very very active – she died in her late fifties from a sudden heart attack.

His newish daughter has had a few more colds than I would like these last few months and I'm wondering....

Anyway, if it's any comfort you don't look two stone overweight!

The creeping effects of old age are slightly affecting me, inasmuch as I find strenuous jobs that I'd have tackled without question five years ago are now being put off from day to day and week to week, and I felt positively down-graded earlier this year when I actually paid someone to cut the front garden hedge. The trouble is, as anyone who is not actually suffering from senile decay will tell you, inside you feel comparatively youthful, no matter what your physical age; mentally you're about 40 years younger. It's just that a lot of things are too much trouble....

Anyway, if you can persuade 'em to get you a microwave ASAP as a wedding present it'll be all to the good; you can not only do everything from soups to porridge to 'baked' potato in it , but it'll even warm up cups of tea and coffee in half-a-minute that you've overlooked whilst eg. talking on the 'phone.

I'm sure you've done justice to The Big House and probably more than it deserves. I can't find any reference to the ages towards whom this book is aimed, but presume that some years ago it would have been a pretty narrow age-band, say 10 yrs to 13. Nowadays, and I suppose the late publication in paperback is some indication of the publisher's hopes of a wider market, the spread of fantasy through the adult age groups has perhaps made the acceptance of the Fair (faerie) Folk more likely to older readers, but I wonder what the author's 'target' was?

I must confess that I don't feel any particular desire to read the thing myself, but I admire the whole-hearted dedication of your review. Or should that be 'research'?

RYCT Darroll; I had Derek on the phone and he mentioned the paddling pool bit, so won't intrude if he's going to write on it, but the answer to the yachting pond puzzle is fairly simple – if the thing does become becalmed or stuck, a very unlikely event, it's just off with the shoes and socks and a small wade – the ponds are usually only a foot or so deep. In fact, there's a dried-up pond on Blackheath near here and there's just a slight depression in the ground – nothing clear-cut.

RYCT Theo; still worried about doorstep evangelists? I had a PB once which was a guide for these people on what to do with recalcitrant householders. Nothing violent, of course. I keep on finding and then losing the darned thing again. Next time I find it I'll put it in the PoE file, handy for the next 'K'. Meanwhile, I agree that it's a problem because these people are giving up their free time in an effort to save you from damnation or whatever, and it seems unkind to turn them away with a selection of words that you're not supposed to utter in polite society. Best just to say "Not today, thank you" in apologetic tones and close the door firmly. Resist the temptation to argue. I once worked in the same offices as a Jehovah's Witness, and deliberately gave up one or two lunch hours to debate with him. I don't think I had any effect, but he eventually went away to be an insurance salesman, so maybe something had stuck.

Oh, and many thanks for that 'more mature' men in ref. to Ken and self.

MS. SELENEOUS – Sue Thomason

RYCT me: yes, a 24p stamp will cover an envelope and 3 pages of A4 paper by airmail to any EEC country – ie. up to 20g.

RYCT Carol: The ability to 'sign' is an attractive idea, but I think that you'd then have to deliberately go and seek profoundly deaf people – they're not very frequent. Tho' having written that, it occurs to me that it'd be useful in some of these crowded pub situations, or even on a tube train.

RYCT John: yep, 'a little bit sick' is the reaction to the limerick.

RYCT Theo:re 'voices'. Interesting that you can evaluate ('nothing significant or prophetic') what immaterial voices say. On the few occasions when, half-dozing, I've heard them, they make no sense and vanish as soon as I'm wide awake.

Interesting stuff without raising many comments. Re. your last sentence, vaguely associated with natural history? I'll try and find time to dig into schoolboy collection of stamps. But that's a pretty wide sweep – my dictionary defines 'natural history' as botany, zoology and mineralogy.

KINVER ROCK HOUSES

I thought, on the lines of 'Acid Houses' that this was going to be about Buffalo Tom raising a few roofs. Oh well. It was interesting to see that most of the mortalities recorded covered infants or old folk of 60 or more. Seems the houses weren't unhealthy once you'd reached adolescence. Would be just the thing for a book collector such as myself. More shelves wanted? Just chip 'em out . And, as someone says, quite warm if you're not suffocated by fires.

Pun about 'Rock Around the Clock' abjured.